Category: Joke Board
OK, it's come to my attention that the two leading Presidential candidates have also filed CL applications with the ZoneBBS.
Well, the rest of the candidates have also, but in keeping with the Commission on Presidential Debates, we'll have to exclude those. Because, as you know, voting for them is a wasted vote, according to the two leading candidates.
So here they are:
Barack Obama's Community Leader application:
1. Why are you interested in being a community leader?:
Why not? I was a community organizer, so I think Community Leader is a logical next step.
2. What previous experience have you had with The Zone BBS?:
I'm in the Zone, Baby. What BBS?
3. What previous computer experience do you have? How comfortable are you with use of websites and other Internet applications?:
They took my Blackberry away when I became President, so I haven't really done too much online since then. Oh, but, does the automated Twitter account count? Sure it does! Yes it can!
4. Much of your job as community leader is dealing with users' questions. What previous experience have you had that would help you in this area?:
Well as community organizer, I'm always fielding questions from people. The best thing I've found is when someone comes to me with a question, have them ask that question of the entire group, and then we can digest all the answers and come away with what we come away with. Sure, the original question may not get answered, and sure, it tends to take a lot of time, but by the end they may not see that original question as so important. It's just another way to get the group to work together.
5. What would you do in a situation where you are asked a question and are unsure of the answer?:
Um. Uh. Yes, well ... Wait, that's what I do when I think I *am* sure of the answer. I guess I don't know.
6. As community leader, you have access to information which users and premium members do not. (Note that you do not have access to passwords, billing information, or the ability to change points.) What do you feel are appropriate and inappropriate uses of this information?:
I think that all depends. Who's information? And for what purpose? Sometimes, the end really does justify the means, so, I don't think you can really create a black or white answer for this one. And no access to passwords? What about connunity surveillance?
7. As community leader, you have the ability to edit and delete board posts and entire topics. What are situations in which it would be appropriate or inappropriate to use these abilities?:
We're always editing, always revising. I guess the only time to delete is if the right group in the wrong circumstance gets so offended that a revisionist edit can't really be effective.
8. When is it appropriate to disable a user's account?:
I don't know that I would go so far as to differently-able a user account, but maybe simply restrict their access to inactive, should they violate SOPA or PIPA, or should they offend the right group at the wrong time.
9. How much time per week can you commit to being a community leader?:
It's not really a matter of how much time I will commit, but how much time the community as a whole will commit.
10. How would you deal with conflicts of interest such as being close friends with someone on The Zone and having to do something against your friend's wishes, or a situation where your friend tried to sway your decision?:
Well, that would be challenging, because I consider everyone to be my Friend. The ZoneBBS is my friend.
11. What do you feel sets you apart from other applicants?:
Well, I believe my community organizer background and International experience sets me apart from other ZoneBBS-Americans.
12. What other information would you like to tell us? You must write something. Interests? Favorite fruit?:
Oh, uh, well, I have two books published. You can buy them on Amazon and read all about me there. Dreams, hope, and change, is what I will bring to the ZoneBBS.
.. And I have a wife, two daughters, and a dog.
Mitt Romney's Community Leader Application:
1. Why are you interested in being a community leader?:
That's a good question: Why would my ambitious business interests include this tiny corner on the market? I've got to earn points in every quarter. Plus, I have a lot of supporters on here, even if they are entitlements suckers and don't contribute. I need their vote, even if the whole idea of entitlements users declaring themselves to be conservative is economically and ideologically repugnant on all levels.
2. What previous experience have you had with The Zone BBS?:
Of course you don't mean directly, but, well, there's got to be some China-based business interest funding this site, right? I've probably had stock in that, or fired a few thousand Americans from it and given the jobs to the Chinese. That's pledging allegiance to my own nation's flag for ya.
3. What previous computer experience do you have? How comfortable are you with use of websites and other Internet applications?:
I've got lots of assistants that do that stuff for me. So, between all of my assistants? I'm sure I've got more experience than anyone else running for this office.
4. Much of your job as community leader is dealing with users' questions. What previous experience have you had that would help you in this area?:
I believe the best way to do this is give them all the possible answers. Don't dumb it down for them, give them all the possible choices they can make, so they can take responsibility for their choice. Sure, they will most likely fail, since by asking for help they are saying they really don't know. But that's just allowing them the opportunity to fail. Freedom to fail is very important, you see.
5. What would you do in a situation where you are asked a question and are unsure of the answer?:
I'd have to say I'm never really unsure of the answer. People say I flip-flop but I generally find the answer to be in line with my business interests.
6. As community leader, you have access to information which users and premium members do not. (Note that you do not have access to passwords, billing information, or the ability to change points.) What do you feel are appropriate and inappropriate uses of this information?:
I support a business's right to sell said information to third parties, unless the user explicitly ops out beforehand.
7. As community leader, you have the ability to edit and delete board posts and entire topics. What are situations in which it would be appropriate or inappropriate to use these abilities?:
Trust me, as one who has trimmed the fat in a lot of business ventures, it's always easier to delete than it is to edit. So long as you replace the item you deleted with an outsourced, cheaper, and less quality alternative. That's what I mean by America first.
There is a time and a place for edit, though: that is for a particular religious group whose support you need and they tend to love revisionist editing almost as much as our fuzzy, leaf-eating friends on the left.
8. When is it appropriate to disable a user's account?:
When the right religious group gets offended, or when someone starts controlling other, and larger, groups' ability to do business freely. Oh and that acount being disabled does not mean that account can start drawing off the rest of us!
9. How much time per week can you commit to being a community leader?:
Oh please! Here we go again, already starting to whine for how much you can get! You're a tiny little site on the very corner of the Internet, and here you are begging for more time! You'll be asking for my corner office next, now, won't you?
10. How would you deal with conflicts of interest such as being close friends with someone on The Zone and having to do something against your friend's wishes, or a situation where your friend tried to sway your decision?:
If an economic interest of mine tried to sway my decision regarding a matter on the Zone, I think the best course of action will be to evaluate the impact, and make my decision in the best interest of fair trade and corporate sovereignty.
11. What do you feel sets you apart from other applicants?:
I'm not part of that 47% of americans, like the binder full of zoners that makes up the rest of the current list of candidates.
12. What other information would you like to tell us? You must write something. Interests? Favorite fruit?:
Did you just say fruit? My favorite fruit are of course the Log Cabin Republicans. But don't tell my churchgoing followers this, I really need their vote so I can't let my favorite fruit marry each other.
Oh, and I believe in the personhood of the ZoneBBS, provided it is properly incorporated, of course.
I love it leo!!! Awesome!!! lol
I thoroughly enjoyed that, thanks Leo.
Okay, it's good to see that someone other than I, have too much time on their hands, but I chuckled and giggled all the way through this. Well done. And as you've probably already guessed, My name is Obomney.
thanks Anthony. I get odd looks from people when I say Obomney I dono if they would rather we said Romnoma or what? But good to have a fellow commiserator.
I just couldn't resist and it's a bit of a compilation over the past few days.
LMAO
hahahahahahaha.
thanks for the laugh, leo. it's much appreciated, and very well done.
Hahahaha Uncle Lio, Go you. thats my joke of the day for sure. And to be honest, it puts the first ever smile on my face for a long time. Good on you Uncle
Very clever, Leo. Good job.
I love it, Leo!
Excelent Leo! thanks for the chuckle.
See? i didn't nick-named you wise arse owl for nothing, and for the question 11 :
What do you feel sets you apart from other applicants?:
could you add that he has a binder full of women he could share with the male zoner? lol.
Just sick Leo Just sick. hahahaha Made me laugh.
oh, I forgot to add that I love Obomney. I'm soooo using that!
love it too.
thanks!
good one Mini! hahahaha.
One word for you... Obomney! I love it!
Given the closeness of the vote, maybe Obomney is the real winner? Good Job, Leo; I think we all needed to have a chuckle.
Nice work, Leo!
This was helarious. Well played, sir.